power, responsiblity, and coco chanel
Wed, Oct 1, 2025 | 10:23 PM
last night i had the Honour of attending the preview of some chanel-related thing at mori building thanks to a plus one invite from tomo, who always casually has connections to people in high places.
chanel? we laughed snobbishly because we are Art People and we could already envision the gaggle of influencers that would surely greet us there. random but sure, why not. let’s go. i enjoy feeling special and included, sue me. i also have to admit that there is a certain sort of thrill in being a nobody at places where everybody is somebody. the high of anonymity’s freedom is most delightful in places where you are reminded of what you still have: that is, in places where everyone else is trapped within the sad cage of surveillance, while you are free to perch against the wall and rub your sticky little fly hands together, or flit about like an invisible spy drone. i won’t deny that i enjoy this experience immensely. it is one of the few situations in which i feel that i hold any sort of power and agency.
so, even though i was still feeling haggard after another long weekend of sweating out another! fucking! fever!, i popped an advil and tried to blow as much snot out of my sinuses as i could and slapped on some eyeshadow and went. thankfully the single designer thing i own is coincidentally a little chanel shoulder bag (thanks mom). i figured this was the respectful thing to wear, even though nobody cares what i wear, because what am i if not respectful(ly)? har har.
the event turned out to be an exhibition centered around chanel’s le19M, which is a building/residency in paris as well as an initiative which funds various artisanal maisons that contribute to the fashion house. stuff like embroidery, goldsmithing, etc. i ran into agathe at the entrance, who kindly cured my ignorance with her explanation due to her being friends with the curator and thus actually aware of what was going on.
it’s difficult to make an interesting exhibition about craft, but it’s amazing how much you can spice it up when you have a budget. i was impressed by the square lights they had for individual captions. they even had a person inside one of the rooms live-weaving on a loom, a young man with tan skin and a sharp nose who was visibly not japanese, so i assumed they must have flown him in from paris, because that’s the kind of thing brands with money do.
midway through the museum, a quiet discussion panel was being hosted in a high-domed room overlooking a sparkling nighttime view of tokyo. we camped out next to the champagne bar and timidly stole multiple hors d'oeuvres from the server oniisan stuck next to us.
once again, as oft happens when i’m surrounded by luxury and excess, i was gripped by the awareness that we are living the life of the wealthy, evil elite of the hunger games. i find it hard not to think about all of the global tragedies occurring outside of our cupola, especially when i am in a literal cupola; here, the 52nd floor of mori tower, the height of luxury and taste. but— just a fleeting thought.
at the exit, they were handing out goodies for invitees. plus-ones excluded. just lie and get the gift, tomo texted me from outside of the exhibition, having left earlier than me, so when the attendant asked me if i was an invitee, i stuttered out a stilted h-hai, to which he laughed embarrassedly, soudesuyone, (of course you are), before thrusting a bag into my hand. a weird response. i mulled it over as i walked out, trying to shake off the shame of being an imposter, until i realized that he probably thought i was an influencer myself. a successful cosplayer; i just lack the “influence” part.
how much power can you attain by giving up anonymity? is it more than you can attain by keeping it? i have always been obsessed with the question of power, because i desire safety and freedom, and am terrified of what fills the vacuum of its void— violence, subjugation, manipulation, and so on. in a relatively stable first-world environment, invisibility is a comfortable way of simply removing oneself from the hierarchy. it allowed me to slink through this event unbothered, and it is allowing me to write this instead of being strong-armed into posting some disingenuous caption of gratitude on an instagram carousel post.
and what comes of this righteous crusade is— nothing, really. if i’m lucky, maybe one person will read this to the end, while some flashy teenager has amassed another thousand sets of eyes through their shiny new content, and together we slide toward what feels like an unstoppable apocalypse. it is a really cynical place to be. but is this—influence, i mean— what i should be pursuing?
is invisibility complicity? is the pursuit of power a moral responsibility? is the responsibility of power worth the loss of freedom?
perhaps my allergy to being perceived is a form of cowardice, but i was always of the thought that if you don’t know what you’re talking about, you should shut up, which in my case means i must first become God.
so, if you see me becoming more active on social media, then you’ll know i’ve either answered the question of moral responsibility, or reached enlightenment☆